...in fact it is moving so quickly, the weeks are like days and the days, like hours...but it cannot move fast enough for my physical healing...it will be a year come October, and that's not far from now...I know, my school teacher friends are telling me to hush because our summer only arrived at the end of June, an entire "month" late, as our warm weather almost always begins early or mid-May.
Two steps forward, three back...that seems to be my progress toward the "new normal". I know I will never be the same as before the accident. Everything has changed and continues. Some would say, well change has always been happening...and it has but not to the extent it has for me individually, but it's like jumping to lightspeed in Star Wars...only with the effects of gravity big time. And not only physically healing but emotionally, and spiritually. None of it is easy or can be put on a schedule or timeline for "completion".
With our friend Kirstin going to be with God on July 1st, a lot was put into perspective for many of us. Time should be our ally and not our enemy. Sometimes easier said than done. Most people find it easy to fill their days with people, activity and desired alone time. The rest of us struggle with one or more of these aspects, and that is what makes time hard to deal with. I'm one of those people and I am not ashamed to say so. Friends see the outside me, but don't look deep enough to see me on the inside. True, I do hide the inside me from them most of the time, because it is socially unacceptable to let people really see what disagrees with you about them, and their behavior toward you. I'm as authentic as I can be but something just flips and we hide our true selves from others.
I want to take this time right now to thank Deacon Meredith+ at Trinity Episcopal, Ashland, for keeping an eye on me, for bringing me Eucharist, for sharing about her life, allowing me to bear her burdens for a little while, as she bears mine. For letting me be useful to my sister in Christ, as faithfully as she has been to me. Thanks M+. Love you.
So there is a little update. I am still grounded from flying for now; hopefully that will change in time for me to use my flight credit from last year before it expires on the anniversary of my accident. My physical therapist has suggested that I go on a retreat for a weekend to the Buddhist monastery in northern California or the Redwoods monastery in the same general area. I may consider something closer...we'll see...nothing like a little renewal to help things along.
I've decided to keep the blog for now...and I am hoping I will have more energy to write in the future. That will make most of you happy I am sure, judging from comments I received when I expressed that I might close it down...but I think it will keep.
Peace and love to you all...be happy and enjoy life. Time does not stand still.
Catherine
