March 17, 2017

My dear readers and friends:

I love that this blog is still being read though I have been remiss over recent years to post anything new.  Thank you, Brenda Stevens, for commenting on the Living Flame of Love but St John of the Cross.  It got me to writing this post.  Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Much has happened over the last five years, well, since 2010 when I was in a car accident.  TBI or Traumatic Brain Injury can indeed change one's life.  And it can sometimes be a challenge and lengthy duration before one can truly begin a New Normal.

Rounding up and corralling one's thoughts and making them coherent can be a new challenge, at least for someone like me and others, to a point that they make sense again.  Attention span can add to that challenge as well.  When you find yourself flitting from one task to another, it makes is so hard to accomplish or finish anything. At first, you feel as if in a maelstrom of thoughts, feelings, fears, anxiety, speech issues and attention deficit, that you wonder if there is anything resembling your previous self left to work with.  Over time with the treatment, some of those tumultuous thoughts fall into place and things are bit less confusing. Eventually you are able to clearly think again and you know this because your thoughts are once again mostly coherent, easier to round up and herd and get them to do your bidding.

These days it is much easier than those years ago when all I could do was sit in a chair and stare at the world.  Thankfully, there was that part of me that remained for the most part calm and sort of talked me through the fear...that was probably more God than me talking quietly to my bruised brain, spiritual heart and pummeled body.

I have been plagued by one kind of sickness after  the other, as if my immune system was as casualty too. Every recovery is a joy and every turn of illness a guerrilla war, mind over body.  I have one all the skirmishes so far and continue to get a bit stronger with each incursion.  God is still very good to me, though all the twists and turns of life since 2010.  And I am ever so thankful to those who gave me their support in a myriad of ways.

So am still and Episcopalian [TbtG], still a chaplain [TbtG] and still single [I was in a relationship for two of my missing blogger years but those years are past].  I am still a writer [though mostly in my head] and a poet [which occasionally I can write down a few lines before rocketing the ball of paper to the trash can].  I still love life and a peace I have found which does pass all understanding.

I hope to be writing more here in the future.  So thank you everyone who has continued to read and comment on my posts from 2006 forward.  I will endeavor to forge ahead in this medium I so loved and still work at here, in this space.

Grace and peace to you all,

Catherine